How To Make Easter Not Suck

March 23, 2011 Desirae Rose No Comments

My memories of Easter are always fun and eccentric. When in the same day will you gorge on deviled eggs AND Cadbury eggs? My grandmother had an Easter Tree that I envied and I promised myself I would own one when I got older. I’m 27, and I’ve yet to convince myself that buying a white stick in dirt and decorating it with crap is really worth celebrating this religious holiday. I still want one though.

Easter Morning we would head off to church, I always loved dresses. My mother always loved to dress me. I was a damn cute kid. Once the cute phase wore off, we slowly stopped going to Church, and now Easter was strictly about candy. My parents were the greatest Easter Basket givers, they would hand select everything that went in to it; from the fake grass, to my new stuffed bunny, to all the delicious treats. I remember one year the Easter Bunny brought me a store bought basket… I was NOT happy. I can’t believe I got the shaft from E.B. I thought we were pals! I spent the previous two weeks drawing him all sorts of pictures and even gave him the good carrot, you know, the one with the leaves, and I get a plastic basket with generic goodies. Hey, I may be a pretentious eight-year-old, but don’t start me out with Godiva and expect me to settle for Fanny Farmers.

The Egg Hunt in our tiny apartment was the reason to wake up! My parents would hide eggs all over the apartment and stuff little treasures inside like coins, candy, and little toys. Sometimes months later we would move furniture and find a missing egg, Easter in November! My parents made holidays fun for my twin and I. Once the Santa myth was debunked by the age of 9, it was only a matter of time I realized my whole imaginary crew disappeared in one quick swoop. Goodbye Santa, who used to sneak in through the radiator because I lived in the projects and didn’t have a chimney. Adios Tooth-Fairy, whom I made a killing off of. Sayonara, Easter Bunny whom oddly enough, didn’t scare me even though I believed a six-foot Rabbit was sneaking into my window leaving me gourmet treats. Of all the Holiday Hooligans, I so desperately wanted to sneak a peak of the Easter Bunny, and rub his little butt.

As I grew into adult I’ve always tried to adapt my favorite holiday traditions into something a little less pathetic than hiding my own eggs, getting wasted, and then try to find them while I’m drunk. Although entertaining, it kind of takes away the pure fun. I’ve hosted my own Easter Dinner parties, had friends come over, made them their own Easter Basket, and watched some movies — just making it an enjoyable holiday for adults. 

I’ve become more health conscious as the years have come and gone, this year will have to be different. Did you know a single chocolate bunny wields a whopping 1000 calories? Or the sodium from two servings of ham is enough for a week’s worth? What about that Macaroni and Cheese, or biscuits, maybe those mashed potatoes and gravy! And like with any big meal, food-coma will commence on the couch and you are down for the count until its Cadbury Egg time.

There are plenty of great places to go enjoy Easter Brunch. Henrietta’s Table in Harvard Square for $45 Entry Fee, Breakfast with the Easter Bunny at the Hard Rock Café in Boston ($14 for adults, $10 for children).

Then of course, there is the Zombie Walk , where participants pay an ironic homage to Jesus, the ultimate Zombie. They dress up in their finest undead couture and ooze with gory blood and march ever so slowly through downtown. Then kill each other.

This year, Easter is April 24th. If you are sans kids but not sans spirit, consider hosting a pot luck for you and all your lonely friends. Homecooking is a great way to bond, save money and save calories. For a physical activity, you can create your own easter egg hunt. For additional exercise, you can head downtown and kill some zombies. Or go to church, whatever you prefer.

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